
I decided to physically remove myself from the paralysing effect of the feeling today and drive over to mom's place which is located in Teban Garden. Geographically it is located on the west side of Singapore while I reside in the Northern part of Singapore. Being small, has its advantages, thus , the drive to mom actually takes about 20-30minutes, epending on the traffic situation. Dad had just been out of the hospital the day before yesterday...and he seems more cheerful.
Upon arrival, I saw my brother and his children there already tucked in to mom's great meegoreng or fried noodle speciality. I felt hungry at the sight of them ravishing the noodles and decided to join in. THe noodle was good indeed!! It helps to alter my focus slightly.....mom looked happily at us muching and trying to catch up with each other at the same time..such simple joy she has..if only I am capable of experiencing the joy myself, I thought.
The rest of the afternoon is spent talking to dad, mom and brother azman about old times while the children climbed happilt on each other. It was a good break...even if it lasted for a while...until my mobile rang...another of my collogue called to remind me about the Scheme of work and resources that need to be ready by next week. NEXT WEEK?! I thot, tht is virtually imposiible!! I got pissed, needless to say and was quite harsh with her....I conviniently switeched off the phone even b4 she finished talking...GET A LIFE...I mumbled to her after I hung up. But I suppose, that was her life, being a head of department in a school her is no easy feat...I suppose, upon some quiet reflection later, she was only doing her job....even if it means at the expense of other people's happiness...
why then I wonder am I still in this insane culture that is tearing and pulling everyone in many different directions....? MOney..that's why..if only I could fin d an alternative where I could earn without getting all these, I suppose, I would have a better peace of mind....or will I?