
Today,
it hit me hard that the school holidays are going to be over soon.
I got this feeling today when priscilla reminded me that we have an English Department meeting tomorrow...what a drag, I thot..no, actually, I thought more than that, I thought of having to face 40 odd pupils trying to convince tham of the value of education for 40minutes each time and battling my own sense of despair at the same time in the classrooms. Looking passionate and jolly on the outside but rotten inside...how hypocritical!!!! The last I heard, I would have to take the graduating classes again next year...all 5 of them...suddenly, I feel my neck aching badly and asense of paralysing despair made me lethargic and sleepy again.
At the living room I saw Daniyal and Aqilah, my two children...playing separately. At a time when I should be guiding them and spending more time with them, I'm mulling over work. My poor children..I wonder why I am always feeling this way...despite of my attempts to overcome it. I suppose, deep down inside me, I feel that I've lost the "with itness" as far as the system is concerned...I'm waiting to get out of it..to be a stay at home mother who is at the same time gainfully employed in her own internet based home business....I'm a novice in the area of home business but I suppose, I've got to start somewhere...so here I am...hopefully, soon, I could succeed in this area..preferably, before, I lose my sanity....
Faizah